Were you going to do something with your job or career....but then a global pandemic happened?
Right now, there’s of course going a lot in the wider world.
But there’s also a lot going on for individuals too. Which may be amplified by social distancing, remote working and isolation. Anything from a strained marriage to a difficult manager to low self-worth anxiety. It’s very much the case that on an individual level these previous issues could be coming more into focus with the unusual conditions people have found themselves in.
So were you going to address your niggling feeling with your career or job… but then the world turned upside down and kind of messed with plans?
A few months ago I felt an individual’s pain around this.
I coached with a woman working for a good organisation who was questioning their path earlier in the year. With all the sudden changes, they were finding the situation much more painful now with working at home, and with the increased intensity of certain aspects of the workplace culture.
But to have a job right now is precious right? To have a job with such an organisation, many would say is lucky right now.
Yet this individual was painfully upset, confused and distressed. On the verge of wanting to leave (which is why they reached out to me).
Conflicted thinking around leaving a job or career
There’s a double-edged sword I see with the events of 2020. One is to prioritise safety - focus on the important things of food, family and financial security etc. The other edge is that it reminds you that life is short and fragile - not to be flittered away. This becomes difficult if a job is feeling frustrating or meaningless. We don’t know what’s next and our time is precious. If something is making us this unhappy like a job, is it worth it? Enter the soul searching.
In a normal year, millions of people decide to change jobs, careers or adjust their lifestyle. And so if at the start of the year you saw 2020 being your year for this, you are likely to be feeling a little all over. If you were in a quandary to make a big job decision before the old Corona kicked, then it just got a bit more complicated.
Mindset check-in: What are you saying to yourself?
Is considering other opinions and leaving a job now self-indulgent? No-one is hiring.
Shouldn’t I just be grateful to have one? Look at all the people without?
Actually the job isn’t that bad, I quite like the team meeting on a Friday (or insert anything else you might use to justify things)
It’s only 6-12 months and then I’ll think about things out of the other side.
Then the next hour it goes like…
I feel like I’m wasting myself and my talents in this role. I want to do something more purposeful.
I know this isn’t what I want to do long term so why am I not figuring out what I do want to do and taking action towards it?
Elements of this work are so painful, I feel like I’m losing myself day by day
6-12 months is still part of my life to be living
If any of this this relates, just acknowledge it and give yourself a mental break. The pain of indecision, of confusion, of self-doubt, can be pretty suffocating and exhausting.
So what to do?
If you were sat in front of me, I’d obviously ask you a ton more questions, but for the sake of this post, here are some thinking points…
1) Identify strong limiting beliefs and assumptions
Really really tune into what you are saying to yourself internally. Are there limiting thoughts e.g. ‘no-one is hiring’ or ‘things with this team just won’t get better’’ which are generalisations or distortions.
Same with assumptions. What are you assuming? That your manager won’t respond well to you speaking up or that an industry you’d like to move into won’t take someone with your experience. Wherever you don’t have strong evidence for something and it’s highly assumed, make a note of it and start to more closely examine the thoughts that are running riot in your brain.
2) Don’t make any in-the-moment emotional decisions. Speak to people. Sleep.
When you have a really bad day and you feel highly emotionally charged, these are days not to take any drastic action. Make a commitment to always talk to a few people and always aim to get a good few nights’ sleep before you conclude anything.
Ask yourself, I feel like this in a week's time, then I will consider stronger action. But really give yourself time and be specific in what you need to feel to make certain decisions. You also want to identify with a resourceful future-focussed state rather than a fear-based one.
3) Identify a decision date
Sometimes giving ourselves a ‘decision date’ creates a mini goal that gives us a sense of focus and control that lifts the weight of having to make any decision now.
Maybe it’s a few weeks, maybe it’s a month or two, but allow yourself a period of time to gather evidence so on that date you feel like you may make a decision from a responsible place, knowing that you went through your own process of due diligence. It’s simple but surprisingly effective, even more so if you physically book it into your calendar.
4) What actions can you take to create more clarity?
When you feel a bit directionless, you can feel a bit stuck with what action to take. It’s like you don’t know where you’re going yet, so the action is stalled. Analysis paralysis takes hold.
So simply ask yourself, what action could you take to create more clarity and prove or disprove your assumptions?
Could you set up a mini goal to have 10 networking conversations over the next two weeks? Or block out actual hours in your diary for desk research around a topic. Maybe you even book in to chat with that Laura lady who wrote a blog post you liked (ha!).
Whatever it is, just committing to some action to give you clarity will ease some of the harder feelings and help you get on the high of being decisive and moving forward.
So where are you now?
Comment below if you’ve got a specific question or get in touch if you want to talk things through. I offer single sessions for exactly these situations - mainly so I can help you identify some of the disempowering thinking and I can set you off on your evidence gathering adventures.